So I've stopped writing for a while... Cant say I had a reason other than not having anything to write about. But I got bored the other day when my power went out and decided that I would look at some of my old blogs on the internet on my telephone. I came to I noticed that my myspace blog had still been getting a decent number of hits, even though I hadnt written on here in what feels like forever. So I said to myself, "Self, you owe it to them to tell them a new story cause old stuff gets boring." So.... Here I am....
OK, so I've been workin this job for about 4 years, looking at the same ugly old faces over and over again, talkin to the same customers about the same mess every day and Im noticing that its starting to feel REALLY routine. And routine equals BORING. The sad part about this boring routine is that, while I know this cant be the end for me, I feel like the only alternatives would be to quit my job, find a hobby that Im not bored to death of or introduce somebody new into my life. I think I'll play it safe and make some new friends. So, Im up at the school again cause it just started again for me, and Im thinkin to myself "I feel so removed from this, yet I think its time get my social life goin again." So I proceed to talk to strangers of different shapes and sizes and found myself kind of fond of two of the females I met. One who was real cool and had some of the most beautiful eyes I have stared into for a very long time and the other is finna seriously give me a reason to like lightskinned girls again (LOL). I sober up after being struck for a moment and gather the information I needed to get myself together... Fighting pessimism cause we all know how it goes when a chick is fly and she knows it - cool today; not so cool tomorrow. I tell myself "but Im me!!!" and Im back on top of my game. Gotta return to what I love best - that UPS brown. It hasnt let me down yet.
Let me step to the side for a minute and tell you somethin about brown skinned women. I LOVE brown skinned women. And if they can some how manage to have that smooth "I belong on an Oil of Olay commercial" type skin with that golden glow like they just been dipped in the sun by God himself, I just might have to ask God for them. I dont know what happened, but it gets me every time. I've been told that Im siking myself out because I just hate that I want a lightskinned girl so bad and cant have one. Part of me begs to differ and the other part of me doesnt care to argue with such a rediculous comment. Im me.
School seems to be goin ok. The classes will be rather simple but I wont take them lightly because I know how quickly one of the most difficult exams ever can creep up on you and then you sittin there with it in your hand like "she aint never went over NONE of this stuff in class!!!" And you manage to scuffle up a B minus. Not good enough. On some real talk, I kinda gotta take it back to highschool and use an attractive female as motivation to be to class on time.... or come at all.... I know it sounds crazy but it helped me get through highschool and I had a 3.6 with advanced courses then, which may not be great but its pretty good considering the fact that I aint wanna be there.
This is random but I think I wanna talk about love now....
I had a few lil relationships over the past few years. Most of which Im glad are over with. I take that back. Let me rephrase that. ALL of which Im really glad are over with. Now you may ask me why. You might even think that I would be lonely. And I wont lie to you, there are times when I would rather have a committed relationship with someone versus just going out with some random female whose last name I probably wont remember in 6 months. But, the thing that I have learned over the years is that its better to be really selective and then make one smart decision than it is to make a whole lot of dumb decisions and wake up bitter. The retort I usually hear is "How you gone know what you like if you aint in relationships?!?" This is why I date. You see, in dating, as long as you dont mind taking the risk that that female may show up with a boyfriend that aint you, you can get all the information you need about the character of that individual without having to worry about locked down with a lunatic and not knowing how to break it to them that you want them to go away. I feel like many of these relationships and stuff have things kinda jacked up because their interview process is too short - they go from hello to I love you in 3 weeks and then proceed directly into this EXTREMELY long semi-monogomous relationship with empty promises of getting married "one day real soon". And when they finally get married, it last for 3 weeks. The interview process is too short, the relationship has no foundation other than a "feeling" (and we all know feelings come and go) and the marriage comes along in the form of "This is the right thing to do...." Not me.... Cant do it. Im not finna marry nobody just because they met a time requirement. On some "Congratulations! You dealt with my sh*t for 9 years and you can now be upgraded to the special bonus title of MARRIAGE!!!" Im leaning towards..... hell no. I like to look at someone who I want to marry like this: If I was locked up in an 8 by 8 room with this person and nothing else, after two days would I be content or would I try to find the quickest way outta what would be hell? Is this someone I could feel comfortable sharing my problems with? Does she keep her word? Is she reliable? Does she even know how to love? People are so far removed from this line of thinking.
You see, these days, our hierarchy goes a little somethin like this:
1. SEX APPEAL
2. PHYSICAL BEAUTY
It should go more like this:
1. WHAT GOD SAYS
4. PHYSICAL BEAUTY
5. FINANCE (Only because without finance, there is no romance so sex appeal goes out the window.)
Now I cant say I follow the rules all the time cause if somebody's stats are too low in the Physical Beauty area, I cant say I would stick around long enough to find out how great their character is. And I know I aint the only one who feels like that. Although I will say this, you aint lived until you dated an ugly girl. (LOL! Just playin...) But for real though, a lot of people get caught up in the allure of sex appeal, physical beauty and how much money the other person got and dont even bother to sit down and say to themselves "Do I even like this person?!?" Its heartbreaking to wake up and realize that you've been waisting so much time, but sometimes you just gotta be real with yourself. Deep down inside you know that you only think about him/her when you're horny. You try to tell yourself it aint like that but soon realize that you cant remember not ONE meaningful conversation you all have had - its all jokes and when can I come over. And while most of the stuff I say today wont gonna cross my mind tomorrow when I run into one of my lil lightskinned friends, its encouraging for me to know that atleast 75% of this stuff that I talk about is hidden somewhere deep within me and will aid me in making the right decisions.... eventually.