Employee of the Year

Employee of the year awards go out soon. Some people say I got a chance at winning. I don't know. Part of me is so modest and feels undeserving. "I'm apart of a great team" it says. "Others are much more deserving than me" it says. The other, slightly arrogant, part of me says "Why not? I would be a perfect poster boy for this award, and plus, I'm looking REAL good today in my suit." Now, I cant say that I'm under qualified for it; I have numerous employee of the month awards this year as well as employee of the quarter, but is it enough? Do my "intangibles", personal letters from customers, and self sacrificing for the "team" support me winning in areas where my numbers do not? I don't know... But I do want my co-workers who are reading this to know - if I lose, I wont be mad... after I win the next award. And if I win, its alright to put aside your hate for a few days and congratulate me, take me out to eat and buy me smoothies in the winter time.


UPDATE: How about nobody from our department gets anything?!? Crazy, I know. Basically, it was a situation where some departments that were supposed to do something didnt do it so nobody gets anything. Thats the long story short. I was told by the manager that I was basically the winner but because other departments along the same vein of our type of operation didnt pull weight there was no "competition" and thus no award was given. Crazy. I should be more upset than I am, but if its one thing that Ive learned over the years of battling self esteem issues as an adolescent is that another person's opinion doesnt really matter anyway. You gotta know who you are for yourself before anybody else does. And while I may not be able to put this "supposed to have had employee of year" on my resume, whats done is done; time cant be turned back on it. I wont let this overlook bring me down. I dont need somebody else to validate me. Its just the principle I guess that makes it come off a lil sideways. This just feels like one of those situations that'll prolly hit me a few days from now as to how jacked up it really was and be pissed off about it, but who knows, part of me is kinda numb to silly stuff like this... I had to buy my own employee of the month T-shirt when it took forever for me to win what I felt like I deserved. I wore my shirt about once a month for about 3 to 4 months before I got it and Ive been winning every since. This year I was award EOTM 4 times and EOTQ twice; basically taking care of half the years awards. In the end though, it doesnt matter - Im still gonna have to dress myself in the morning and walk in this place and listen to these customers complain. Until I can get someone to bathe and dress me in the morning, preparing me for my journey to my living room where I will be laid up next to something beautiful and brownskinned, I still aint where I need to be...

Who else needs to say something?

All I got to say is: "What's next?"

If Tiger Woods forgot that his skin got pigment in it, he surely should understand that by now. He gone have to come off all that cablasian foolishness. First it was the collard greens and fried chicken comment, then the "they are gonna have to lynch him" comment and now this.... I dont know where these white people are getting this sensation in their bodies that its ok to make "nigger" jokes. It seems like somebody somewhere along the lines of the production process shoulda stopped this from happening. Yet Tiger keeps shruggin it off and lettin them get away with it.... and they keep doing it to him. Seems like maybe he needs to legally change his name from Tiger to another word that means cat....

Children of Passion (This aint cool but Ima write it anyway...)

The world seems to be getting more and more full of "Children of Passion"... You're probably wondering what Im talking about when I say that... Im talking about ugly people. Children of Passion have two parents who decided to let go of all their inhibitions for one night and succumb to the "desires of their heart". Now, maybe its a situation of being exposed to so many different types of "beautiful" people through the media that we have become de-sensitized and can no longer be satisfied by what used to be good enough to be deemed beautiful - and I'll revisit that notion but part of me just feels like people are just "humping" any and everybody now. Maybe Im wrong for askin it, but when was the last time you seen someone on the street that made you think "You know what?!? If had to end it all right now with her/him, I would do it". I aint seen that.

Now it could be the fact that Im just extra picky and may never really be satisfied but I aint gone accept that; Id rather blame it on the media for warping my perception. It ruined us all. Cant even see an article now without the broad or fella in the advertisement bein all airbrushed up, tummy tucked, sucked, scraped, chiseled and drawn up. We cant even tell what a real woman is supposed to look like to even appreciate her anymore. Maybe this is the reason it has seemed that the Jet beauty of the week as seemingly become less and less appealing since the Olympics were in Atlanta in 1996? I dont know. Seems like society has made it so that "cute" just aint enough.

On the serious note though, I think it comes from people living their lives a lil bit too hard and too fast at this point in time. Nobody's getting enough sleep; Old folk are piling on cremes and stuff to look younger and young folk wake up in the morning with one foot in the grave. Young girls putting on so much make-up it looks like their wearin a porcelian mask - all in an effort to be more sexy... too young to understand that sexy is a state of mind and not a look. Breaks my heart to see some of these "little sisters" tryin so hard to catch. They've been gettin the attention they've been askin for too. Gettin the pill at 11 is a serious sign that just maybe these lil girl may be tryin to grow up a lil too fast. They aint the only party thats outta control though, somebody had to bring the penetration to the party. Both parties are pleasure seekers and the kids that are poppin their little ugly faces out are very strong supporting pieces of supporting evidence that somebody's self esteem wasnt too good and just needed to feel "loved". I know there are a few cases of people just falling in love with each other and the feeling was just so strong that it didnt even matter what the two parties looked like. But considering the fact that people aint really tryin to get married no more, they'd rather be room mates with benefits, I dont think love is causing the birth of these "Children of Passion". I think its out of control passion thats causing these "Children of Passion" and this out of control passion is coming from low self-esteem; low self-esteem which is so prevelant among young people today that its digusting. At the end of the day they cant be blamed having low self-esteem if their parents didnt help them build it at a young age. But now, with all these babies having babies, nobody is taking time to find themselves; the low self-esteem is compounded - generation after generation, and it aint helpin if theyre ugly...