Down for the Struggle

I was lookin at some writing on ajc.com a while ago and they were talkin about how people are choosing to be single now for longer and stuff like that. It was a lot dudes on there whinin like females talkin bout how "the system isn't set up for men because if there is ever a need for a divorce, the woman ALWAYS comes out on top" and stuff like that. They were askin questions like "Why is it that a woman can get child support when they get custody of the children while, if by some miracle, a man can get custody of the child they dont get that same luxury" Yeah.... Thats some real B**** nigga S*** but a very valid point none the less. I say all this to say, it seemed to be more bitter men than there was females. There were a few females calling it "modern day slavery" and stuff like that but, for the most part, there weren't a lot of angry women saying they never wanted to get married and all men are dogs, etc. So I started thinking, maybe marriage is about to come back in style. Maybe men are deciding to slow down a little bit. For a while now it seemed like the climate was moving more toward having a "life partner" and "shacking up" for a while and then getting tired of that person and moving on. But Im starting to feel like the temperature is changing once again. Mainly due to the fact that niggas are struggling. You see, from what I've read on that blog, many people were attributing the fall of marriage to the success of women in the business world. What I mean by that is that they say the more successful women became, the less tolerant they became of males - developing the "I can do bad all by myself" mentality. But now..... Now it looks like things are about to shift back to the way they were. I see a lot of people graduating from college with nothing to do but to go back to school or take some extra regular job doing something that had absolutely nothing to do with the degree they have. This leads me to believe that maybe, just maybe, people may be starting to forget this "single forever" type mentality - that just maybe people will start being a little more tolerant of each others flaws in order to make a relationship extend for more than a couple years.

God taught me a lot this pass year. And one thing I learned is that the only things that can break up a relationship are immaturity and insecurity. Those are the only two things. An immature person lacks the self control needed to keep them away from taking part in pleasure seeking activities outside of the relationship. This includes, not only sex, but also the need for attention from the opposite sex; the need to excessively flirt, etc. These other needs typically stem from the immature person not being completely satisfied with themselves, which leads us to the insecurity I spoke of. Most of the time insecurity will show in the form of the persons need to be in control, jealousness, the need for complements from the significant other to keep their SELF-esteem up, etc.

A person who is truely ready for a relationship has to first be happy alone. They have to be a whole person. You cant have two halves and try to make a whole. Most people I know arent complete or content. Some of them dont have identities at all. So they continue in a viscious cycle of rotating people in and out of their lives that they know they know they wont be with in six weeks. Up until now I couldn't honestly say that I could be happy alone - able to say to myself "If I never get into another serious relationship, Ima be alright". I didnt realized that I was in a cycle until my sister ask me why I had been with so many girls last year that I knew I had no future with and I couldnt really answer her.... Until now. It was immaturity. A need to flirt and get a women to like me even though I may not have really cared too much for them - for the sole purpose of stroking my ego. Just to say "I got such and such and she dot dot dot." It made me indecisive in some cases cause I aint know why I was involved with certain people or what direction I wanted to go with it. So I became David Copperfield and disappeared. Now that Ive grew up a lil bit and dont behave as foolishly, I can say that a great part of me is ready. Time will tell...

I think that if more people become aware of their own flaws and more tolerent of other people's flaws (as I predict will happen) it wont be long before the family comes back. I could be wrong, but Im still putting in my order...