Piggybacking off of Down for the Struggle... Over the past few years Ive learned that the only thing that prevents a relationship from being successful is lack of maturity. You see, when two whole with identities people get together, after a thorough interview, there should be absolutely no reason to break up. None. A mature person will recognize red flags of the individual in mind before they get together. There wont be a lot of make-up to break-up type stuff happening - no 3 month relationships - no cheating. Why? Because a mature person has good idea of who they are, who they aren't, what they want, and what they need.
Ive learned a lot about people simply by looking at other people's situations. Watching people who get in viscious cycles of off and on relationships or are notorious for having a high level of rotation; people who I say have the "revolving door" syndrome. Off and on relationships are emotionally taxing and the "revolving door" syndrome is dangerous cause somebody is gonna get seriously attached and may not want to accept the idea of being left alone for somebody else (read: stalker)
This past year I saw people break up who I thought woulda been together forever, I saw people together who I aint ever think woulda got together, I saw people work the off and on like a shorted out light switch, and Ive been apart of a revolving door as well as set up one of my own. I even heard a story from a guy I know who said that when he was younger, he moved in with his girlfriend of several years and, while he was at work, she started "tricking" and then left him for some other girls. And yes.... I did say "SOME other GIRLS". The cycle is viscious but it can be stopped. It can be stopped with maturity and the development of an identity. Maturity can stop you from indulging in extra curricular activities with people who are not your significant other. It will aid in the discipline needed to stay with somebody even though you see some "greener grass." It will also help you recognize exactly the things that you need before you get envolved too deep and have to end up making a decision. I haven't seen any other reason to break up. Well, maybe finances. But for the most part maturity can solve a lot of issues that cancel out our relationships. I could be wrong, though.....
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i don't think it's that simple lil' brother. I wish it was, but it's not. Maturity yes, but what i'm also recently learning in my ripe old age of 30, is that being in a successful relationship has almost just as much to do with knowing yourself, as it does, knowing the other person.
You have to know what you want, you have to know what you can tolerate, what you like, your flaws, your weak points, what tempts you, what makes you happy, yadda yadda and yadda.
I think the best advice i can give my son one day is this.....never ever never ever ever, make a decision about love and/or committment, unless you are absolutely, positively 100% sure. There isn't any room for doubt when it comes to these matters.
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